my day

早上skype到一半你就说有急事要出去，那时意大利已经凌晨了。不懂你要出去干嘛。过后接到你的电话说你2个朋友失踪了，所以要去找他们。可是过了一个小时后我再打给你，你的电话已经打不通了。2个意大利的号码，1个马来的号码，全都打不通。

我开始担心，发了好多封信息，你都没回，打了几百通电话也不通。我真的好担心，好紧张到哭了，真的很怕你发生了什么事。我坐也不是，站也不是。到处找你。又不懂你又要给我什么惊喜了，或许我走出公寓就看到你。可是，那也只是幻想吧！真的是超级担心的…担心地一直在那边祈祷，希望你的人可以平平安安就好。

我就连考试都心不在焉的，幸好今天考电脑的spreadsheet,是不用像读书一样的。我冲冲把它做完，交了卷，就跑出电脑室打给你，还是打不通。回到家，一直打一直打给你，还是打不通。原本还要跟朋友到coogee beach BBQ.可是怎么还有心情，有点打算不去了。到了傍晚，我才收到你的信息。拿起电话，马上打给你。听到你的声音，我真的超开心，开心你平安。好像放下心头的大石一样，松了一口气。那时我只是在market city买点东西，好多人在旁边，不然我的眼泪真的会夺框而出了。你说出了点事了，可是你不说是什么事，我真的好担心，好担心你。明天真的要去庙里烧香，拜拜一下了。

我第一次那么担心一个人。唉。。别再给我什么惊喜了，你lou po我受不了什么刺激了。过后才跟朋友到coogee BBQ.可是我朋友驾车又走错路，走到marouba去了，弯来湾去，我的头很晕，很不舒服。好不容易到了coogee,真的站都不稳了。吃了2颗panadol.好点，可是BBQ过后，又呕了。真的超不舒服的。搭了一辆巴士回家。

从liverpool street走到我家，经过coles,就买了包酸梅吃。总算好点。最倒霉的是，撞见了一个之前在店里跟我表白的女生，我的天啊，这下她把我缠着不放。我才装作很不舒服要回家了，她才放我走。

=(

Its nearly 4am.but i cant sleep as well..

its a difficulty day for me,i suddenly feel that im so lonely at the moment.who can chat with me?can bear the hardship with me?i cried myself to sleep,but still not able to...something happened to my family,but nothing can i do.

honestly,somemore having some trouble in life right now.i never mention it,i believe i can settle it myself..its sigh...but i born to be tough...i trust on myself..its so called "life",right? =（got no idea with how long should i have to keep alive in this kind of life...alright,no worries about that.talk about some other trifling stuff,ever since my lou gong leaving to italy,causes of the stupid equation of time.we seldom keep in contact all the time.somemore he is working over there,so i should understand his situation and dont ever told my dissatified..i miss him dearly in heart..



still waiting for the day with love.........

mss u guys!!!!

刚刚看回了以前的所有照片。。真的好怀念以前中学时候GIRLGUIDE 的生活。。开始发觉为什么以前的GIRL GUIDE 的照片那么少。。。梅，芳，恬，怡。。。谢谢你们跟我一起走过5年中学生涯，从form1 开始，我们和翠秀一起，为GIRL GUIDE 出生入死。。可是form2,秀走了。芳也从st john 换过来girl guide…还记得当初好像是搞了很大件事吧。。可是最后还是成功了。。
我们从leader教我们kawat,一直到我们当人家的leader教人家KAWAT。。。从被leader 骂。到我们当leader骂member..那个过程，现在回想起来，真的可喜可悲。那么多年，为了比赛，一直练一直练。。在太阳底下嗮，跑10圈操场做热身，还是跑15圈篮球场。。迟到又被leader罚30圈。。。现在要跑也没了。。。可是一直比赛，比了州赛那么多年。。最遗憾的是没有`一次拿过JOHAN ，NAIB JOHAN 就有份。。。可是也不能怪，33个人的默契能培养到NAIBJOHAN 已经不赖了。。为了比赛，晚上也跑到学校练，学校不批准，还跑到附近的DEWAN 练。。。哈哈。。比赛前一天晚上换人。。。本来没有得比州赛，全部人跑到校长室去求校长，甚至求到哭得那种，才换来一次比赛的权力。。还记得吗？

千手观音这支舞蹈，我们到底巡回到处去跳了多少次？记得吗？我也数不清了。。。 puteri gunung ledang 这支舞蹈，也是巡回跳了多少次，还比到全世界的传统舞蹈，还拿了冠军，真的不可思议。。。我们的舞蹈，可以说必战必赢，可是form5那年的campfire,输给了st john…真的还蛮失望的吧。。可是没有想到，那是我们5个在一起跳得最后一支舞蹈。

每次有什么活动，我们都会到芳or恬的家去准备。。hari kantin,我们大多数会去芳的家，大煮一番。。什么东西不好吃不好喝的，都会给我们调配到很好味道。。。。真的太神奇这样的精神。
梅，芳，怡。。。我没有跟你们去过CAMPING ，每次都是我和恬去。。希望在未来的某一天，我们5个可以一起去camping…你们说好不好？？你们的girlguide full uniform 还有在吗？我想那个uniform我现在变肥了，应该穿不下了。。哈哈哈哈。。。。。。。现在我们5个都在不同地方了，梅在melbourne,芳在singapore,恬在taiwan,怡在kl,我在sydney…真的是分布在不同的地方。。要见面的机会也很难咯。。不管怎样，我还是会祝福你们天天都开心。。别忘了，结婚的时候请我当伴娘哦。。
FRIEND FOREVER
Muackssssszzzzz………love u guys!!!!!!

miss it

老公，好想你啊。最不好就是你的香港号码啦，过了kastam就没信号。noob line!!!今晚你就到意大利了，你在飞机上的13个小时我应该会很想你吧！我看iphone,现在那边才6度，你一定没把暖衣带足够的吧。

刚刚，又一个人走到darling harbour去了，经常跟你去的地方。突然间想起好多东西。以前还没遇到你，不开心时总会到那个地方去想东西，就会想通很多了。

还记得有一次有2个鬼佬在那里脱个清光跳下港里游泳，我要看，你偏生气不给我看。哎呀，那时那么多人看着。多我一个也不会怎样吧。哈哈哈哈哈哈…

让我记忆最深的就是，我们一起去guccee beach,本来只是想去走走，可是却看到海太爽了，就到附近买了泳衣，马上换了就跳进海里。超级疯狂，可是很值得回忆。

哈哈…现在回想起来，我们的相遇，真的太过巧妙了。天时，地利，人合。好像是老天安排好的缘份一样。以前在kl只是认识你咯。完全没想到会跟你在一起，缘份好奇妙。

I meet u in Sydney accidentally without any comitment. I duno whether this is a coincidence or that's our predestine. After that v fall in love with each other and hang over. But unfortunately you stay in Melbourne.and came Sydney for travelling. 1second before we meet each other. Both of us have a specific feeling. Like we can feel that we will meet someone that important to us very soon. So I'm just turn around my head. And I saw u On the same time,u have the same feeling. When u turn around your head. V saw each other......HOW ROMANTIC IS IT??LIKE A PART FROM THE MOVIE......so i do appreciate you so much and wont lets you go.....unless you want leave me....alright??


放心啦，我会好好爱你的，从以前到现在，最疼是你了。知道吗？笨蛋！！！！

love it....=)

已经好久都没光顾这里了。可是现在跟以往不同了。现在有一个很疼我，很爱我的老公了。也感谢老天爷让我们相遇。可是，觉得很抱歉。因为现在的我跟以前的我已经不一样了，现在的我已经把自己完全封闭了，什么也不想讲什么也不想做。就一直让你在猜我在想什么。对不起噢，笨蛋。

还记得你离开悉尼的前一晚，我哭了。可是你不知道，我哭并不是因为我们要分开一段时间，而是我看到电话里你写给我的那句话，“要记得有个人永远都那么爱你哦！”我突然间觉得我自己被老天爷宠爱的感觉，原来它并没有忘记我。还会安排一个那么疼爱我的老公给我。其实你不说什么甜言蜜语。但你还是不经意地从每一个动作表现出你的疼爱。你每次，总是把最好的留给我，把坏的留给自己。对我就像公主一样。

有时候也很气你为什么不懂得像其他男人一样疼自己多一些。知道我爱吃inari就趁我上学时跑到world tower那档买了给我放学肚子饿时吃…知道我懒惰剥虾壳，就剥给我…知道我懒惰走路就背着我走…知道我爱吃什么，虽然你爱吃但你都会让给我吃…知道我爱吃葱油饼，半夜也陪我到george street哪里吃…风吹来很冷，你穿得比我还少，可是你却用你的身体来帮我挡风…知道我喝不了热的东西，就会把你快凉的那份让我…老公，这一切我从来都没说过，但是我都看在眼里，甜在心里。可是有很多时候还是会警惕自己，认为你只是在做样子玩玩而已。我想很多人会这么想吧。可是，我看到的并不是虚假的，我看到你付出你的真心。可是，真的很对不起，我之前被伤了好多好多，所以我现在并不是会完全相信你。可是我相信时间能证明一切，你也不会让我失望。

还记得在martin place日本sunioya BBQ我们俩甜蜜得被waitress羡慕地笑我们吗？记得在darling harbour,你背我，我们幸福地被旁人笑吗？记得在机场的电梯，你抱起我玩，有趣得被旁边的人笑吗？他们的笑并不是在笑我们白痴，是笑我们太幸福了。。

你知不知道，当你对我说，如果我们能一起活到老，你会让我先离开这个世界，并不是你先离开。因为你说你想让我最后一面还是会见到你，你说留下来的那个人会是最痛苦，最伤心的，而你是最不想让我伤心的那一位…我听了，我的心里会笑，感动得哭。是真的第一次感动到哭了。你说的话，我都有记在心里的。虽然我表面冷漠无情，好像不在意你的模样。让你紧张得要命。可是我不懂得表达内心的想法。希望你这个笨蛋会了解。好吗？

每次跟你谈完电话，你都会让我先挂电话。我就知道你是最疼我的那个，也会是从以前到现在，对我最好的那个了。。。因为我知道，听挂完电话后的那个声音很不好过。。。所以你永远都不会先挂我电话。

现在的你在香港，多担心你喝多酒伤胃啊！过后你又要去意大利，和巴黎，好担心你会冷着了！我会等你回来的噢。不管以后发生什么事，我相信我们都会一起牵手渡过的。可是只有你这个大笨蛋，一直担心我不爱你。爱你啦。

my happiness

Sorry for yesterday didnt update my blog.because i going home too late and i am too drunk.i go for karaoke with all my hong kong colleague about 40++ people included my boss.but having fun with hong kong people is nice,because while someone sing,we never get bored.we will play many game with dadu and gesture.even i don't know how to play,but plenty people teach me.so i learn from them easier.a loser in the game need to drink whole glass of the alcohol beverage as a punishment.

there is very interesting,somemore we never ever get bored,this is the main point.but a lot peoples was drunk.."never back home before drunk"this is the rule in sydney.all of us spend about 4000 dollar yesterday.we back home about 4am.
the 1st time i drunk in sydney.haha.the 1st time.even i was drunk,but i still know take care myself and recognize the way to my home.somemore that time still very crowded on the street,but drunk people every where.

actually im very happy yesterday,not because of that,is whole day.after all of this incident happened,i suddenlly realize that,my own happiness is most important..i don't want get confusing about love,friends,situation anymore..just let all of this happen naturally.i just want i will always happy everyday.maybe this is one of the method i love myself.hopefully i will own this kind of life everyday.so now i enjoy my life here,enjoy in my work,enjoy in study,enjoy busy,enjoy boring..this is so called life.a part of growth.

i can feel that after all the unfortunate incident happend,my luck is on the way approach me..because yesterday i receive a phone call from ozana a modelling agency management,they are satisfied with my photoshoot.they ask me meet them on 7/9 after the fashion show,they want to fixed a time to having interview with me in their company.woww.its glad!!somemore i receive my salary from my boss yesterday,so i have money to pay the landlord and claim back my burberry bag.hahahaha.

finally

Finally today I know why the landlord trying kick me out from the house already,I accidentally heard the conversation between her and her sister.the reason is so strange,just because of her husband treate me very good.so she jealous…..afraid of I will grab her husband.so she simply find some reason to kick me out.i don’t know want feel funny or sad…….why?the husband’s appearance is like a gay,can feel he is dirty….talkative somemore,always talk with me until I unable to stand and unable to bear it….everytime just ignore him…..so there is impossible I will like her husband.

But all of this is over…is past.i am moving to a new house named harbour garden.most of the villager is from Europe country,so the environment look very high class and beautiful like a 5star hotel in Malaysia.i love the environment very much. My housemate is come from brazil,japanese,Europe,korea..everyone in this house have different nationality,its good so we can learn different culture and different language from each other.

Actually I am facing some trouble about the finance problem.because once I move in this house,I have to pay 2000 dollar,but I don’t have so much money.because my mum is just send me the money yesterday,but I have to wait a couple days for the transaction to my account.i cant stand with the situation as before,everyday cry,sad,depressed.i wan move in as soon as possible,so I have a idea,just hand over some valueable thing to my new owner first.so I hand over my burberry bag for her first..cause this is my most valueable thing right now.i am so sad.my burberry bag is not with me now.=”( when I receive the money I will pay the bond fee,and I can get back my bag already…so I hope I will receive it tomorrow.in short,as fast as possible.

Thanks my friend,ohmi.he is helping me to moving house.he help me carry all the baggage.actually he is a good guy…and funny..he is always trying to make me smile when I was depressed.he is my classmate,who is a 22years old guy from Thailand.but actually I don’t like his attitude always like to touch me even I am not his gf….i hate it,really!!!but he help me so much,so nothing I can say..just tried my best to avoid it.

But I am disappointed,in the end the Korean friend don’t trust on me.so our relationship is gone.what can I say what can I do what can I explain I already done it.she trust me or not just depends on her,at least I wont regret,cause I done everything I can do.just don’t know why,I treat her like my sister all the time.every Saturday she need to work alone until 12am,she is afraid alone.so every Saturday I will visit her store and chat with her until 12am and going home together. I am always cook for her,cause she don’t know cooking as well….i tried my best to treat her as good as I can.but in the end,my retribution is just…..UNBELIEVEABLE

Its ok.nevermind.as well as I never do that.so I never feel guilty.i start my new life now.new environment,new friends,new situation.i wish everything will be fine start from now.finally I had been over all the difficulty by myself.a part of growth.i feel glad with that….on the pathway heading to being mature and tough.