老公，好想你啊。最不好就是你的香港号码啦，过了kastam就没信号。noob line!!!今晚你就到意大利了，你在飞机上的13个小时我应该会很想你吧！我看iphone,现在那边才6度，你一定没把暖衣带足够的吧。
刚刚，又一个人走到darling harbour去了，经常跟你去的地方。突然间想起好多东西。以前还没遇到你，不开心时总会到那个地方去想东西，就会想通很多了。
还记得有一次有2个鬼佬在那里脱个清光跳下港里游泳，我要看，你偏生气不给我看。哎呀，那时那么多人看着。多我一个也不会怎样吧。哈哈哈哈哈哈…
让我记忆最深的就是，我们一起去guccee beach,本来只是想去走走，可是却看到海太爽了，就到附近买了泳衣，马上换了就跳进海里。超级疯狂，可是很值得回忆。
哈哈…现在回想起来，我们的相遇，真的太过巧妙了。天时，地利，人合。好像是老天安排好的缘份一样。以前在kl只是认识你咯。完全没想到会跟你在一起，缘份好奇妙。
I meet u in Sydney accidentally without any comitment. I duno whether this is a coincidence or that's our predestine. After that v fall in love with each other and hang over. But unfortunately you stay in Melbourne.and came Sydney for travelling. 1second before we meet each other. Both of us have a specific feeling. Like we can feel that we will meet someone that important to us very soon. So I'm just turn around my head. And I saw u On the same time,u have the same feeling. When u turn around your head. V saw each other......HOW ROMANTIC IS IT??LIKE A PART FROM THE MOVIE......so i do appreciate you so much and wont lets you go.....unless you want leave me....alright??
放心啦，我会好好爱你的，从以前到现在，最疼是你了。知道吗？笨蛋！！！！
10 Nov 2009
9 Nov 2009
love it....=)
已经好久都没光顾这里了。可是现在跟以往不同了。现在有一个很疼我，很爱我的老公了。也感谢老天爷让我们相遇。可是，觉得很抱歉。因为现在的我跟以前的我已经不一样了，现在的我已经把自己完全封闭了，什么也不想讲什么也不想做。就一直让你在猜我在想什么。对不起噢，笨蛋。
还记得你离开悉尼的前一晚，我哭了。可是你不知道，我哭并不是因为我们要分开一段时间，而是我看到电话里你写给我的那句话，“要记得有个人永远都那么爱你哦！”我突然间觉得我自己被老天爷宠爱的感觉，原来它并没有忘记我。还会安排一个那么疼爱我的老公给我。其实你不说什么甜言蜜语。但你还是不经意地从每一个动作表现出你的疼爱。你每次，总是把最好的留给我，把坏的留给自己。对我就像公主一样。
有时候也很气你为什么不懂得像其他男人一样疼自己多一些。知道我爱吃inari就趁我上学时跑到world tower那档买了给我放学肚子饿时吃…知道我懒惰剥虾壳，就剥给我…知道我懒惰走路就背着我走…知道我爱吃什么，虽然你爱吃但你都会让给我吃…知道我爱吃葱油饼，半夜也陪我到george street哪里吃…风吹来很冷，你穿得比我还少，可是你却用你的身体来帮我挡风…知道我喝不了热的东西，就会把你快凉的那份让我…老公，这一切我从来都没说过，但是我都看在眼里，甜在心里。可是有很多时候还是会警惕自己，认为你只是在做样子玩玩而已。我想很多人会这么想吧。可是，我看到的并不是虚假的，我看到你付出你的真心。可是，真的很对不起，我之前被伤了好多好多，所以我现在并不是会完全相信你。可是我相信时间能证明一切，你也不会让我失望。
还记得在martin place日本sunioya BBQ我们俩甜蜜得被waitress羡慕地笑我们吗？记得在darling harbour,你背我，我们幸福地被旁人笑吗？记得在机场的电梯，你抱起我玩，有趣得被旁边的人笑吗？他们的笑并不是在笑我们白痴，是笑我们太幸福了。。
你知不知道，当你对我说，如果我们能一起活到老，你会让我先离开这个世界，并不是你先离开。因为你说你想让我最后一面还是会见到你，你说留下来的那个人会是最痛苦，最伤心的，而你是最不想让我伤心的那一位…我听了，我的心里会笑，感动得哭。是真的第一次感动到哭了。你说的话，我都有记在心里的。虽然我表面冷漠无情，好像不在意你的模样。让你紧张得要命。可是我不懂得表达内心的想法。希望你这个笨蛋会了解。好吗？
现在的你在香港，多担心你喝多酒伤胃啊！过后你又要去意大利，和巴黎，好担心你会冷着了！我会等你回来的噢。不管以后发生什么事，我相信我们都会一起牵手渡过的。可是只有你这个大笨蛋，一直担心我不爱你。爱你啦。
还记得你离开悉尼的前一晚，我哭了。可是你不知道，我哭并不是因为我们要分开一段时间，而是我看到电话里你写给我的那句话，“要记得有个人永远都那么爱你哦！”我突然间觉得我自己被老天爷宠爱的感觉，原来它并没有忘记我。还会安排一个那么疼爱我的老公给我。其实你不说什么甜言蜜语。但你还是不经意地从每一个动作表现出你的疼爱。你每次，总是把最好的留给我，把坏的留给自己。对我就像公主一样。
有时候也很气你为什么不懂得像其他男人一样疼自己多一些。知道我爱吃inari就趁我上学时跑到world tower那档买了给我放学肚子饿时吃…知道我懒惰剥虾壳，就剥给我…知道我懒惰走路就背着我走…知道我爱吃什么，虽然你爱吃但你都会让给我吃…知道我爱吃葱油饼，半夜也陪我到george street哪里吃…风吹来很冷，你穿得比我还少，可是你却用你的身体来帮我挡风…知道我喝不了热的东西，就会把你快凉的那份让我…老公，这一切我从来都没说过，但是我都看在眼里，甜在心里。可是有很多时候还是会警惕自己，认为你只是在做样子玩玩而已。我想很多人会这么想吧。可是，我看到的并不是虚假的，我看到你付出你的真心。可是，真的很对不起，我之前被伤了好多好多，所以我现在并不是会完全相信你。可是我相信时间能证明一切，你也不会让我失望。
还记得在martin place日本sunioya BBQ我们俩甜蜜得被waitress羡慕地笑我们吗？记得在darling harbour,你背我，我们幸福地被旁人笑吗？记得在机场的电梯，你抱起我玩，有趣得被旁边的人笑吗？他们的笑并不是在笑我们白痴，是笑我们太幸福了。。
你知不知道，当你对我说，如果我们能一起活到老，你会让我先离开这个世界，并不是你先离开。因为你说你想让我最后一面还是会见到你，你说留下来的那个人会是最痛苦，最伤心的，而你是最不想让我伤心的那一位…我听了，我的心里会笑，感动得哭。是真的第一次感动到哭了。你说的话，我都有记在心里的。虽然我表面冷漠无情，好像不在意你的模样。让你紧张得要命。可是我不懂得表达内心的想法。希望你这个笨蛋会了解。好吗？
每次跟你谈完电话，你都会让我先挂电话。我就知道你是最疼我的那个，也会是从以前到现在，对我最好的那个了。。。因为我知道，听挂完电话后的那个声音很不好过。。。所以你永远都不会先挂我电话。
现在的你在香港，多担心你喝多酒伤胃啊！过后你又要去意大利，和巴黎，好担心你会冷着了！我会等你回来的噢。不管以后发生什么事，我相信我们都会一起牵手渡过的。可是只有你这个大笨蛋，一直担心我不爱你。爱你啦。
4 Sept 2009
my happiness
Sorry for yesterday didnt update my blog.because i going home too late and i am too drunk.i go for karaoke with all my hong kong colleague about 40++ people included my boss.but having fun with hong kong people is nice,because while someone sing,we never get bored.we will play many game with dadu and gesture.even i don't know how to play,but plenty people teach me.so i learn from them easier.a loser in the game need to drink whole glass of the alcohol beverage as a punishment.
there is very interesting,somemore we never ever get bored,this is the main point.but a lot peoples was drunk.."never back home before drunk"this is the rule in sydney.all of us spend about 4000 dollar yesterday.we back home about 4am.
the 1st time i drunk in sydney.haha.the 1st time.even i was drunk,but i still know take care myself and recognize the way to my home.somemore that time still very crowded on the street,but drunk people every where.
actually im very happy yesterday,not because of that,is whole day.after all of this incident happened,i suddenlly realize that,my own happiness is most important..i don't want get confusing about love,friends,situation anymore..just let all of this happen naturally.i just want i will always happy everyday.maybe this is one of the method i love myself.hopefully i will own this kind of life everyday.so now i enjoy my life here,enjoy in my work,enjoy in study,enjoy busy,enjoy boring..this is so called life.a part of growth.
i can feel that after all the unfortunate incident happend,my luck is on the way approach me..because yesterday i receive a phone call from ozana a modelling agency management,they are satisfied with my photoshoot.they ask me meet them on 7/9 after the fashion show,they want to fixed a time to having interview with me in their company.woww.its glad!!somemore i receive my salary from my boss yesterday,so i have money to pay the landlord and claim back my burberry bag.hahahaha.
there is very interesting,somemore we never ever get bored,this is the main point.but a lot peoples was drunk.."never back home before drunk"this is the rule in sydney.all of us spend about 4000 dollar yesterday.we back home about 4am.
the 1st time i drunk in sydney.haha.the 1st time.even i was drunk,but i still know take care myself and recognize the way to my home.somemore that time still very crowded on the street,but drunk people every where.
actually im very happy yesterday,not because of that,is whole day.after all of this incident happened,i suddenlly realize that,my own happiness is most important..i don't want get confusing about love,friends,situation anymore..just let all of this happen naturally.i just want i will always happy everyday.maybe this is one of the method i love myself.hopefully i will own this kind of life everyday.so now i enjoy my life here,enjoy in my work,enjoy in study,enjoy busy,enjoy boring..this is so called life.a part of growth.
i can feel that after all the unfortunate incident happend,my luck is on the way approach me..because yesterday i receive a phone call from ozana a modelling agency management,they are satisfied with my photoshoot.they ask me meet them on 7/9 after the fashion show,they want to fixed a time to having interview with me in their company.woww.its glad!!somemore i receive my salary from my boss yesterday,so i have money to pay the landlord and claim back my burberry bag.hahahaha.
3 Sept 2009
finally
Finally today I know why the landlord trying kick me out from the house already,I accidentally heard the conversation between her and her sister.the reason is so strange,just because of her husband treate me very good.so she jealous…..afraid of I will grab her husband.so she simply find some reason to kick me out.i don’t know want feel funny or sad…….why?the husband’s appearance is like a gay,can feel he is dirty….talkative somemore,always talk with me until I unable to stand and unable to bear it….everytime just ignore him…..so there is impossible I will like her husband.
But all of this is over…is past.i am moving to a new house named harbour garden.most of the villager is from Europe country,so the environment look very high class and beautiful like a 5star hotel in Malaysia.i love the environment very much. My housemate is come from brazil,japanese,Europe,korea..everyone in this house have different nationality,its good so we can learn different culture and different language from each other.
Actually I am facing some trouble about the finance problem.because once I move in this house,I have to pay 2000 dollar,but I don’t have so much money.because my mum is just send me the money yesterday,but I have to wait a couple days for the transaction to my account.i cant stand with the situation as before,everyday cry,sad,depressed.i wan move in as soon as possible,so I have a idea,just hand over some valueable thing to my new owner first.so I hand over my burberry bag for her first..cause this is my most valueable thing right now.i am so sad.my burberry bag is not with me now.=”( when I receive the money I will pay the bond fee,and I can get back my bag already…so I hope I will receive it tomorrow.in short,as fast as possible.
Thanks my friend,ohmi.he is helping me to moving house.he help me carry all the baggage.actually he is a good guy…and funny..he is always trying to make me smile when I was depressed.he is my classmate,who is a 22years old guy from Thailand.but actually I don’t like his attitude always like to touch me even I am not his gf….i hate it,really!!!but he help me so much,so nothing I can say..just tried my best to avoid it.
But I am disappointed,in the end the Korean friend don’t trust on me.so our relationship is gone.what can I say what can I do what can I explain I already done it.she trust me or not just depends on her,at least I wont regret,cause I done everything I can do.just don’t know why,I treat her like my sister all the time.every Saturday she need to work alone until 12am,she is afraid alone.so every Saturday I will visit her store and chat with her until 12am and going home together. I am always cook for her,cause she don’t know cooking as well….i tried my best to treat her as good as I can.but in the end,my retribution is just…..UNBELIEVEABLE
Its ok.nevermind.as well as I never do that.so I never feel guilty.i start my new life now.new environment,new friends,new situation.i wish everything will be fine start from now.finally I had been over all the difficulty by myself.a part of growth.i feel glad with that….on the pathway heading to being mature and tough.
But all of this is over…is past.i am moving to a new house named harbour garden.most of the villager is from Europe country,so the environment look very high class and beautiful like a 5star hotel in Malaysia.i love the environment very much. My housemate is come from brazil,japanese,Europe,korea..everyone in this house have different nationality,its good so we can learn different culture and different language from each other.
Actually I am facing some trouble about the finance problem.because once I move in this house,I have to pay 2000 dollar,but I don’t have so much money.because my mum is just send me the money yesterday,but I have to wait a couple days for the transaction to my account.i cant stand with the situation as before,everyday cry,sad,depressed.i wan move in as soon as possible,so I have a idea,just hand over some valueable thing to my new owner first.so I hand over my burberry bag for her first..cause this is my most valueable thing right now.i am so sad.my burberry bag is not with me now.=”( when I receive the money I will pay the bond fee,and I can get back my bag already…so I hope I will receive it tomorrow.in short,as fast as possible.
Thanks my friend,ohmi.he is helping me to moving house.he help me carry all the baggage.actually he is a good guy…and funny..he is always trying to make me smile when I was depressed.he is my classmate,who is a 22years old guy from Thailand.but actually I don’t like his attitude always like to touch me even I am not his gf….i hate it,really!!!but he help me so much,so nothing I can say..just tried my best to avoid it.
But I am disappointed,in the end the Korean friend don’t trust on me.so our relationship is gone.what can I say what can I do what can I explain I already done it.she trust me or not just depends on her,at least I wont regret,cause I done everything I can do.just don’t know why,I treat her like my sister all the time.every Saturday she need to work alone until 12am,she is afraid alone.so every Saturday I will visit her store and chat with her until 12am and going home together. I am always cook for her,cause she don’t know cooking as well….i tried my best to treat her as good as I can.but in the end,my retribution is just…..UNBELIEVEABLE
Its ok.nevermind.as well as I never do that.so I never feel guilty.i start my new life now.new environment,new friends,new situation.i wish everything will be fine start from now.finally I had been over all the difficulty by myself.a part of growth.i feel glad with that….on the pathway heading to being mature and tough.
2 Sept 2009
女人要坚强，再苦也要笑，笑着当自己的公主
我真的喘不过气了。真的很辛苦。如果这个世界上有种手术是会让人失忆的话，那不管花多少钱。要我有多大的牺牲，我都要去动这个手术。可是没有这回事。我真的很希望可以发生一场意外，而从此失忆。 昨晚有自杀的念头，可是想起了好多事情，我取消了这个念头。我的心真的累了，痛了，苦了，伤了
真的不懂从什么时候开始，我都不曾笑过。应该是7月26号那天开始吧。你离开我的那天。每天我都会让自己很忙地忘掉你。都忘了怎样去笑了。
真的不懂从什么时候开始。我开始每晚都失眠，每天都躺在床上翻来滚去，可是我还是一直眼睁睁到天亮。
真的不懂从什么时候开始，我开始每一天晚上都会痛苦得大哭一场。真的太多事情让我担心，让我烦恼。工作的事，学业上的事，朋友的事，感情上的事。每天都被一大堆东西压着我差不多透不过气。现在却发生这种事，我真的束手无策。
其实，很多时候真的还蛮想自杀，也许这个世界根本不属于我。死了，真的可以一了百了，不用烦不用想不用伤心不用痛苦。可是如果这样做，不代表跟命运低头了吗？不！这个只是把内心的脆弱表露给人家看。我做不到。
我必须证明给很多人看，我不是像他们所说的一样不成熟，不独立。我必须证明他们说的都错了。曾经因为我的不成熟，曾经给人判了死刑。
现在，很须要一个靠得住的肩膀，来让我靠一下。可是，我不能。。现在我真的不可以有男朋友，在我还没有改变我自己之前，千万不能有男朋友。可是我好累啊，怎么办？我是真的好累，好累…心里的伤痕，有谁能看到？
在subang工作的那几个月里，真的是我这辈子从没尝试过的开心。每天都那么地无忧无虑，还有人疼爱。我以后，还会有这样的幸福吗？那些日子其实很简单，每天重复地做一样的东西。可是真的很幸福。
我想，老天真的把我弄丢了，所以在倦顾的名单里没有我的名字。为什么是我必须受这种痛苦？我不知道。我也找不到答案。也许它是要我以后成功吧！有一句话说，老天要成就一个人以前，必须要劳其经骨，饿其体肤吗？我真的很希望这一切都会成为过去。我会有一个春天。
虽然我没有那么大的力量，却被逼扛那么大块的东西。我没有选择，真的没有选择。只能用酒精来麻醉自己，来安慰自己。只有在我醉了以后，才不会有那么多烦恼。
真的不懂从什么时候开始，我都不曾笑过。应该是7月26号那天开始吧。你离开我的那天。每天我都会让自己很忙地忘掉你。都忘了怎样去笑了。
真的不懂从什么时候开始。我开始每晚都失眠，每天都躺在床上翻来滚去，可是我还是一直眼睁睁到天亮。
真的不懂从什么时候开始，我开始每一天晚上都会痛苦得大哭一场。真的太多事情让我担心，让我烦恼。工作的事，学业上的事，朋友的事，感情上的事。每天都被一大堆东西压着我差不多透不过气。现在却发生这种事，我真的束手无策。
其实，很多时候真的还蛮想自杀，也许这个世界根本不属于我。死了，真的可以一了百了，不用烦不用想不用伤心不用痛苦。可是如果这样做，不代表跟命运低头了吗？不！这个只是把内心的脆弱表露给人家看。我做不到。
我必须证明给很多人看，我不是像他们所说的一样不成熟，不独立。我必须证明他们说的都错了。曾经因为我的不成熟，曾经给人判了死刑。
现在，很须要一个靠得住的肩膀，来让我靠一下。可是，我不能。。现在我真的不可以有男朋友，在我还没有改变我自己之前，千万不能有男朋友。可是我好累啊，怎么办？我是真的好累，好累…心里的伤痕，有谁能看到？
在subang工作的那几个月里，真的是我这辈子从没尝试过的开心。每天都那么地无忧无虑，还有人疼爱。我以后，还会有这样的幸福吗？那些日子其实很简单，每天重复地做一样的东西。可是真的很幸福。
我想，老天真的把我弄丢了，所以在倦顾的名单里没有我的名字。为什么是我必须受这种痛苦？我不知道。我也找不到答案。也许它是要我以后成功吧！有一句话说，老天要成就一个人以前，必须要劳其经骨，饿其体肤吗？我真的很希望这一切都会成为过去。我会有一个春天。
虽然我没有那么大的力量，却被逼扛那么大块的东西。我没有选择，真的没有选择。只能用酒精来麻醉自己，来安慰自己。只有在我醉了以后，才不会有那么多烦恼。
1 Sept 2009
someone is trying drag me to hell
just having a great quarrel with my korean best friend and the house owner.there is out of my expertation that today will have this kind of incident happened.
the only one korean friend who is very familiar with me in sydney is going to misunderstood me.i am very depressed and dissapointed that the house owner will say something bad about me to my friend.actually i feel very thankfull to my house owner along this time,because she help me a lot since i arrived in sydney.but today i change my view to her....why she is pretending inmature than me even she is 32years old?
the house owner was going severe injury behind me.she told the korean friend that i always said a lot bad thing about the korean friend to my parent.because the owner hear the conversation between me and my mum via skype.she is just a indonesian chinese but don't know chinese well,don't know writting in chinese,even communication also have problem.but she said to my korean friend that she know what i talking with my mum.and translate in english to korean friend.but all the thing she told is nonsen,i never mention it before.yet her english level is worse than me even she stay in australia already 13years. did you can imagine that a person who worse in chinese and english,HOW TO TRANSLATE? but the korean friend don't know her chinese is bad.just believe on it.
no wonder the korean friend treat me very unwell this few days.the another one thing which is out of my expertation is,the owner told my korean friend that yesterday i was talking with my mum on skype.i told my mum all the bad thing about the korean gal.but i am very suspect,yesterday i woke up at 4pm,and then i have take a shower and having my meal,make up all,after that about 5.30pm i am rushing to the rehearsal.i back from rehearsal at 1am.i never having a conversation with my mum yesterday.why the owner told my friend that i was talking about her bad thing to my mum yesterday....why she want to do so??besides,what point i want told my mum all the bad thing about the korean gal?i am curious.why the owner can told this kind of nonsen?
so the korean friend is going to angry at me.and misunderstanding me.but i never do all this kind of shit thing.what the point she want do that.i am curious.along this time,my relationship with the house owner is very good.we always help each other.understand each other.why she is going to change her personality suddenly.i always play with her son,buy food for her son,cooking for her son.whats wrong i did?i don't know.so i think she drive me away from home last night is not simple as just the carpet's problem.she already plan all of this long time ago.
its ok for me.even i cry just now.but after crying i will be tough start from now forwards.that is my turn to be tough.......everything happened out of my expertation.so i am just facing it out of my expertation with a positive way...i should undergo all of this to becoming mature and strong.learning to be a perfect woman now.the weak girl before is dissapear start from this moment.i have confident i can done it.cheer..caryn!!
the only one korean friend who is very familiar with me in sydney is going to misunderstood me.i am very depressed and dissapointed that the house owner will say something bad about me to my friend.actually i feel very thankfull to my house owner along this time,because she help me a lot since i arrived in sydney.but today i change my view to her....why she is pretending inmature than me even she is 32years old?
the house owner was going severe injury behind me.she told the korean friend that i always said a lot bad thing about the korean friend to my parent.because the owner hear the conversation between me and my mum via skype.she is just a indonesian chinese but don't know chinese well,don't know writting in chinese,even communication also have problem.but she said to my korean friend that she know what i talking with my mum.and translate in english to korean friend.but all the thing she told is nonsen,i never mention it before.yet her english level is worse than me even she stay in australia already 13years. did you can imagine that a person who worse in chinese and english,HOW TO TRANSLATE? but the korean friend don't know her chinese is bad.just believe on it.
no wonder the korean friend treat me very unwell this few days.the another one thing which is out of my expertation is,the owner told my korean friend that yesterday i was talking with my mum on skype.i told my mum all the bad thing about the korean gal.but i am very suspect,yesterday i woke up at 4pm,and then i have take a shower and having my meal,make up all,after that about 5.30pm i am rushing to the rehearsal.i back from rehearsal at 1am.i never having a conversation with my mum yesterday.why the owner told my friend that i was talking about her bad thing to my mum yesterday....why she want to do so??besides,what point i want told my mum all the bad thing about the korean gal?i am curious.why the owner can told this kind of nonsen?
so the korean friend is going to angry at me.and misunderstanding me.but i never do all this kind of shit thing.what the point she want do that.i am curious.along this time,my relationship with the house owner is very good.we always help each other.understand each other.why she is going to change her personality suddenly.i always play with her son,buy food for her son,cooking for her son.whats wrong i did?i don't know.so i think she drive me away from home last night is not simple as just the carpet's problem.she already plan all of this long time ago.
its ok for me.even i cry just now.but after crying i will be tough start from now forwards.that is my turn to be tough.......everything happened out of my expertation.so i am just facing it out of my expertation with a positive way...i should undergo all of this to becoming mature and strong.learning to be a perfect woman now.the weak girl before is dissapear start from this moment.i have confident i can done it.cheer..caryn!!
安慰的心
虽然我很难过。可是听到你的声音。很安慰。。。。心情放松了好多。
虽然不懂你心里到底要怎样。。。不！！应该是不懂老天爷会把我们怎样。
我会很快回去，继续我们未完成的天堂。。。你要等我。。。等我。。。好不好？
虽然不懂你心里到底要怎样。。。不！！应该是不懂老天爷会把我们怎样。
我会很快回去，继续我们未完成的天堂。。。你要等我。。。等我。。。好不好？
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